A month ago I received a late night phone call, it was a good friend of mine crying and through her sobs I understood that a beautiful soul had passed away. Not only had she passed away, but she had made the choice to end her life. She was physically beautiful and intellectually capable and because of these things everyone fell to their knees in confusion.

A week ago one of my close friends, lost his friend and ex-girlfriend of 4 years to the same decision. He called me, crying and yelling to God about the unfairness of it all. Wondering where he went wrong. Thinking if he could have changed the outcome.

Today I speak to a friend who opens up old wounds and explains to me why he sees the world as full of emotionally unreliable humans. A beautiful man, of great intellectual capacity, who has wondered the world and experienced life and yet…

I see the pain. I see the loss. I see what was once there and is now gone.

So I sit here and wonder, what are we doing wrong? As a society, we are fucking up in so many ways but what are we doing within our groups of people that we call friends and family that we do not see the festering desperation in the faces and lives of the people we love.

I am not comparing these three cases to each other… my words of condolences to the ones who mourn the loss of the first two are that they understand that now, at least, there is peace. I think that suicide is never the solution. But I can’t be naïve and pretend that I do not understand. I understand that some people were built too fragile for the world that we live in. This does not make them weak, it makes them human. I find peace in knowing that they are no longer drowning, swimming against the currents, trying to climb out of the pressure of life. I do not condemn them for the choices they made, I continue to live my life in respect to them, strongly, and with the capacities that I was given because that is the way I find I can honour them. To the third case I say, FIGHT ON. Not because I feel he is less deserving of the peace of it all ending but because I see in him the strength to achieve the things worth living for. Life is full of pain, loss, tragedy and tears but in between all of those there is love, hope and laughter.

Everyone needs to take a close look at themselves and the people around them, don’t wait until someone asks for help, don’t wait until you see that it is too late, don’t wait until who you love has faded into themselves… tell them, immediately… answer their question “Is There Anybody Out There?” .. TELL THEM, SHOW THEM.

I am here.

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