PLAYLIST DESCRIPTION: When you put yourself back together. What did you think would happen? When you hammered all those pieces back into place. Shot a nail through your heart to connect all the bits of your spine. Bled tears, memories for days to come. But at least you were able to face the world standing up again. You sewed your limbs back on. While walking, hurriedly, down the road to get to your Tinder hookup. One leg trailing by tendons down New Amsterdam Avenue. Land on their stoop and sigh. Shouts of fear, loud lust coming out your mind. And you walked up stairs to their apartment. Floated your ghost heart into their bedroom. Wrapped it in their sheets.
And couldn’t see a goddamn thing. Your bedroom eyes just aren’t there.
You tried talking body. But it was too soon. You could barely see cocks. genitalia. breasts. smacking you in the face. Their lips went right through you. Right out the back of your skull. They tried to grab your pecs, but got bunches of sheets behind you instead. So stuck in your head. Turned around in there, so that your mind’s ass blocks eye sockets. Even as you’re begging them to fuck you. To clear your vision.
Trauma took your game away, yo. And you might feel like St. Jude (patron saint of lost causes); but forge ahead anyway, fellow ghost heart. If it just means running in and out of so many bedrooms you’ve bent over in every apartment in Chelsea. Even if it means floating through the walls of lovers and pretending you were never there. You have all the reason to ghost out of a date. But one day, you’ll be able to wake up, in the morning. Wrapped in their arms. And remember the whole night.
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FULL PLAYLIST:
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BEST 5 TRACKS OF THE MONTH
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Have you been playing me, playing me?
Like a fool
Or have we just got lost finding where
We are meant to be
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4. VANCE JOY// RIPTIDE (KASBO REMIX)
There’s this movie that I think you’ll like
This guy decides to quit his job and heads to NYC
This cowboy’s running from himself
Oh, and he come’s unstuck
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3. DRAKE// FURTHEST THING (YAAROHS COVER)
Somewhere between psychotic and iconic
Somewhere between I want it and I got it
Somewhere between I’m sober and I’m lifted
Somewhere between a mistress and commitment
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2. GRIMES// REALITI (FLPYDSK REMIX)
There were moments when it seemed okay
(But I go back alone)
Where do you go? Where do you stay?
(I go back alone)
There was a time when the music would play
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But if you never break, you’ll never know
It’s all you need to fight a blow
Now put yourself back together again
Burning bridges from the inside-out
One day I’ll be stronger than my own doubt
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