Lately, I’ve had gallons of rushing thought about fragility. That I lost mine. That it fucks me up. That it makes laying in bed, my head laced across the hair of the skeleton of your chest, a nothing experience. Your sternum practically shouts, Reach.In.Me. Your heart rambles off marching orders to every emotion in your body. I can hear it, when I lay my ear against you and remember how to be.human.again. It’s so fragile. Vulnerable. bones.of.glass. Everyone knows your every move. I’m sure mine shouts, but it’s encased in pavement. The street it was curbstomped on rolled it up. Gave it concrete galoshes. Told it to fucking jump into the sea of emotion. My bones are made of the interstates of every nation. And you can’t know a fucking thing about me.

So I thought about letting.go. And failing. Always failing. You can diagnose the problem. You can sit in your room and beat your legs with sledgehammers. You can shout This.Is.The.End. and expect your heart to mimic. It won’t. Because the world isn’t all independence. I can carve my bones, I can whittle them to a shape you’ll find sexy. But you’ll know nothing of me. If I try to swim with you to a whole new sea, I’ll sink back into my own mind. Alone, I am incapable of saying.it’s.over.

Every new beginning becomes a naked border run to the dance party. dance.fuck.dance.fuck. in the new fresh air. You’re going to break down crying once. Can you let others break your bones and expose your beauty? That first escape to freedom is frightening as fuck. All tanks in the trees and hypervigilance hanging in the tropical air. You’ve got your knife pulled. Good. with broken bones, eventually you’ll let it go. Your charisma will return, shine from you like a fucking beacon. It’ll illuminate paratroopers in the branches, and you’ll just smile and wave. It’ll never not be a war in your in your head; but eventually kisses at the dance party will light the entire electric forest of life, not be nuclear weapons aimed at your fucking head.

This playlist is my attempt to show that encased in my cold heart is still a penchant for beauty. For softness. For a tracklist of hope.

CATCH A FREE DOWNLOAD HERE AT MY SOUNDCLOUD.
FULL PLAYLIST BELOW.
BEFORE THAT, CHECK OUT THE TOP 5 SONGS OF THE MONTH.

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#5 RAC// WE BELONG (ODESZA REMIX)

Just an ache in my chest
For blue in my veins
We belong to where we’re going

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#4 CRUISR// ALL OVER (BEAR//FACE Remix)

You put your dukes up, baby put your dukes up
Toe to toe with you, losing control with you
Wanna know, would you rip me to pieces?
I just want you to win

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#3 TEGAN AND SARA// I CAN’T TAKE IT (MATOMA REMIX)

So move, yeah move
I’ve got nowhere to go
So move, don’t move so slow
I can’t take it, I can’t take it
I can, I can

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#2 MAN WITHOUT COUNTRY (FT. WHITE SEA)// LAWS OF MOTION (SEBASTIEN RADIO EDIT)

You’re so bold
But hard to know
It’s always the unprophetic hero
I wanted to free
Your heart
I wanted to
Show the real you

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#1 SAMEBLOD// FLOURISH

And I don’t want nobody to tell me what’s next
Cos I’m the only one that knows my own stress
And I don’t even like these feelings I get
I’ll make my own way, I need to let it go!

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FULL PLAYLIST:

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