Reminiscing on the first time I cried over lost “love”; I must have been 14 having lost him because I looked 17 and yet claimed to be 19. I still carry the chain around my neck of our first thirtydaysary, what an idiotic concept but I was in love with having a reason to skip Algebra I in the form of the first hands to ever grip my waist. I’ve never been able to replace the sensation of losing my innocence in the depth of his gray eyes, if only we could love again the way we did when we never had.
And that’s exactly what I did.
Loved you, in a way that showed me I never have loved. Loved you, after losing you without knowing who you were to me. Loved you, when I heard the news that it was too late to try to have you. Loved you, despite every fiber of my mind reminding me you were never in my plans. Loved you, through the stumble of voices listing out my many options. Loved you, as I lost the last shred of innocence the years had not yet taken.
And now I know it’s best to love with the emotional restrictions of the inevitable end.
The phantom pain harasses my senses, a casualty of war, I feel the space where you should be and grip myself failing continuously at the attempt to keep myself from falling apart. I still dream every night the way I did before I knew you with subtle reminders that you were heading my way only to awaken with the clarity that you did arrive but left immediately.
I stay high on the promise that the low season is soon to go
Ritual brings us a teaser of their new EP From the City To The Wilderness due to appear before the end of the year with “Low Season” proving once again that the same sounds that serenade ones wounds may be the anthem of hope for another. Make sure to follow them on Facebook and Soundcloud for more great music.
In the only thing I differ is that perhaps my whispers should be shouts..